This weekend I took an educational trip to Sloane Square to discover how the real housewives live.

They drink whilst they shop.

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Upon entering a Monica Vinader store, I observed customers cooing away like old friends as they sipped champagne. I noticed a shop assistant making a beeline towards me and I thought that I was about to be escorted out for gatecrashing a private party. When she reached me, she looked me dead in the eyes and whispered “Champagne?” This is exactly how I should be greeted, I thought as I accepted a glass and sashayed through the shop.

I sipped my Champagne and took a moment to appreciate the taste. It tasted refreshingly elegant and so much better than the £8.99 bottles of Prosecco that I am used to.


I planned on buying a Rose gold Fiji bracelet as a little gift to myself for being so fabulous, but the bracelet was too big and it only came in one size. Before I left I wanted to take advantage of the free champagne; but I noticed that the real housewives were still clinging on to their first glass of champagne, which was empty by now. Not wanting to embarrass myself in front of my future friends, I reluctantly resisted the urge to take another glass and left.

I am not a fan of this one glass of champagne rule. I will make sure that it gets over turned as soon as I am elected Chief Housewife.

Their Zara is better than yours.

Much better. At times Zara can be a bit disorganised which means that you can spend over an hour rummaging around before you find anything in your size.

Zara Sloane Square is not only more organised than your local Zara, it showcases a nicer collection too. The shop is laid out in a way that makes it easier to shop and the table displays do not look like an earthquake has just hit.

You won’t be finding any £5.99 t-shirts or cheap floral prints when you are shopping in the borough that neighbours the Queen. Instead you will find an outfit for every occasion and in every size, waiting for you to try on.

Don’t be alarmed if you see a few shoppers holding their pet pooches whilst browsing. And yes, that dog is dressed from head to paw in the latest Fendi.

I bought a cream jumper and grey trousers and teamed them with a silk blazer from Reiss and black ankle boots from Kurt Geiger to channel my inner Miami Heat Housewife.

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Their Christmas Markets serve Oysters.

When you think about Christmas Markets you think of mulled wine and pointless gifts that nobody needs, but you buy them anyway. Not at Sloane Square. Out are the German beers and in are the Oysters and Champagne. You will find yourself surrounded by a group of forty something’s toasting to what I can only imagine to be ” Heres to being rich, and staying rich” as they feast on cold aphrodisiacs.

The food stalls are a bit more exotic than your average Christmas markets too. You can choose from a selection of cured meats, fancy homemade sauces and even Caribbean food!

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With a glass of Processco being no more than £4, what more could one ask for on a Saturday afternoon?

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